New Leaf Blog
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We love change
We hate change, but we love it too.
People often speak and write about how traumatic change is. They are dead right. Change is necessarily uncomfortable. When we change we get out of our comfort zone and probably out of our family’s comfort zone too.
But despite all the hundreds of books written about how uncomfortable change is, our comfort zone is also our stagnation zone. We are no longer comfortable, we are stuck. We are no longer growing, we are stifled. We are no longer learning, we know it all.
So, then we crave change.
Change is natural and organic to us all. We grow and learn, take on new roles, develop into who we are and learn about ourselves and what matters to us throughout our lives. We grow from babies to toddlers, falling down as we learn to walk. We grow from toddlers to young children, finding our place in the family and the wider world. Then we have to reassess that place as we move through our teens into adulthood.
It seems like when we are young, the changes happen naturally, even when they are hard. But many of us become more resistant to change as we get older and feel that we might lose what we have worked hard to create, or people might judge us if we do something badly, even if we are new to it. Nonetheless, the changes continue whether we like them or not. We gain new roles stimulated by a promotion or redundancy, a health crises, bereavement, parenthood, grandparenthood, retirement and all the other hundreds of situations that tell us we cannot stay as we were.
There is always some trauma (that is one reason teenagers can be so impossible to live with), but there is also growth and possibility.
The caterpillar turning into the butterfly goes through the most amazing change – with its whole body transforming within a cocoon. And then it has to push its way out of that cocoon, dry its wings and take flight.
I challenge you to take that risk of changing from caterpillar to butterfly right now. How ever hard it is, it is better than remaining a caterpillar forever. If you expect and manage the trauma as normal, rather than assuming it means you have failed, it will help you to navigate the change with more energy and reduced fear.
Surround yourself with support: friends, family, a coach, a therapist, a networking group, training courses, inspiring books or TV shows – pick what works for you. And stay away from those who tell you that you can’t, those who suck your energy away.
Think about that right now. Who will be your support as you transform yourself? Go and enrol them, and get changing.